Radical Discomfort: The Crux of Incarnational Mission
The writing on his shirt spelled “S-A-T-A-N!” I sat silently in the back of the oddly sterile classroom while proctoring my student’s first-semester exam. I was wading gently into my seventh year in higher education as a professor in the health care sciences department. The twisting in my theoretical intestine was agonizing as I tried to read the writing once again through my blurry astigmatism. Squinting eyes with starlight beams, I carefully slipped my glasses from my desk and wiped off the morning’s dust with my wrinkled business casual shirt. Yes, I read his shirt correctly once again. The letters S-A-T-A-N were highlighted prominently in white lettering with a large pentagram centered below on his weathered cobalt T-shirt.
Reading the letters on the shirt was an immediate trigger for me. My pastor husband and I had just walked through a major deconstruction journey after enduring profound ministry-related trauma. We spent a couple of years away from church ministry due to ethical concerns and the need for genuine mental health recovery. Through our time away from ministry, and my husband’s journey through seminary, we began to resonate with the troubling state of Christianity in America, in particular as it relates to the next generations.
To illustrate, consider the following five statistics, surveyed within the last two years across America:
- In 2023, data showed a significant decline in church attendance across the U.S., particularly among younger generations. This includes a notable drop among Gen Z, with only 20% of Gen Z attending religious services at least once a month.
- 75% of Gen Z believe in God or a higher power, yet only about 36% identify as “open” to religion. Many Gen Zers (roughly 34%) are spiritual, but choose not to engage with traditional religious institutions (Statistics via TENX10 and Barna Group, 2023).
- The Pew Research Center reported in 2024 that 29% of U.S. adults now identify as religiously unaffiliated (“nones”), which includes those who describe their religious identity as atheist, agnostic, or “nothing in particular.” This group has seen significant growth, especially among younger generations. Among Gen Z adults (ages 18-25), a staggering 34% identify as “nones.”
- Gen Z feels less connected to traditional church practices and teachings. A 2023 Springtide Research report indicated that 44% of Gen Z said they would attend church more often if they felt welcomed and seen as individuals.
- 61% of Gen Z say they have a positive view of spirituality, but they are more likely to pursue this outside traditional church environments.
The Jesus Person in me was conflicted. As I became more distanced from formal ministry, I found the shirt to be humorous, but also felt a persistent agony, as I often experienced unimaginable prophetic sadness for college students in the margins. I heard the voice of Jesus in that sterile classroom like a sand-swept whisper: “Pray for him.” I didn’t want to pray. I was no longer a pastor’s wife and didn’t feel qualified to pray any longer, but I did so begrudgingly. Much to my chagrin, nothing magical happened. There were no signs, wonders, miracles falling from the rafters of my classroom. No one spoke in tongues. I only heard muttered curses from students who did not do well on their exam as they exited the classroom.
Nearly a year later, I received a surprising late-night phone call from Satan-shirt. “Hey Steph, can I talk to you?”
Rumor had it that I was the teacher at the school that could help him. My number had somehow been leaked amongst the students like a flyer for a house party. Our conversation slowly morphed from academic advising to heavier topics like suicide, substance abuse, and giving up on life. The Jesus person buried within me stepped into the gap as I mentioned “When you were taking your exam a year ago, God asked me to pray for you.” I followed that statement with “I’m probably going to get fired for telling you this.” Instead, I heard nothing but sobs on the other line, and a whispered “Thank you.”
It turns out that this precious soul had attempted to take his life recently, and a friend miraculously stumbled upon him in the act. He said, “There was someone out there who wanted me on this earth, and Steph, I think your prayer had something to do with this intervention.” I was stunned. Fast forward a few years: He graduated from college recently and we still dialogue frequently. I pray that he hears the same sand-swept whisper as I had.
This encounter ushered me into radical discomfort, which I am coming to realize is the crux of incarnational mission. From my perspective, believers must grow deeply in preferring radical discomfort if we would like to reach new generations. What follows are four areas we must grow in if we desire to be present with the next generation as they encounter Christ:
Cultural Sensitivity
Cultural sensitivity is the ability to empathize and respond to others from different backgrounds than our own. What is missing within a ministry context is cultural sensitivity for the next generation. We need to ask ourselves if we speak the next-gen language – literally. As a college professor, I had to quickly learn what “rizz, bet, and no-cap” meant. While we may find this practice uncomfortable, we may not be able to relate to a culture if we are unwilling to speak and understand their language.
We should spend time with younger people intentionally to identify their needs, understand their ethos, and see who Jesus could be to them in their context. This missional practice looks less like “Can I invite you over for coffee so I can tell you about Jesus?” and more like “Let’s meet at the brewery and discuss your favorite bands.” This practice may be uncomfortable to many Christians, but it is necessary to establish a baseline for mission. We can’t truly be sent if we are unwilling to identify with those we are sent to.
Cultural sensitivity is the ability to empathize and respond to others from different backgrounds than our own. What is missing within a ministry context is cultural sensitivity for the next generation. Share on X
Accessibility
In the past, a buzzword in our Christian contexts has been “relevance.” I often see this term associated with modern worship bands, church coffee, merch shops, and cool haircuts. I strongly believe that the term “relevance” should be tabled indefinitely. Accessibility is the practice of creating equitable environments and interactions. If an individual is confined to a wheelchair, we build a ramp, not more “relevant” stairs. Today, the next generation largely does not feel the faith to be accessible to them. Christian language and practices are oddly specific and poorly understood if you are not a churchgoer.
When we began our micro-church expression, my husband and I had several discussions about accessibility. How can we make this expression accessible to all? We found that humans share a common need for food, community, and inclusivity. When we invite people to our home, my husband prepares a chef-style meal for nearly 30 people. This process takes him days, but the needs are met. We create a safe house where all are welcome and included to engage in community discussion about Jesus. Sometimes we don’t talk about faith if we sense the Lord is asking us to build a ramp that day. The concern I see with faith communities is that we welcome all, but we do not include all. We see people in the margins but are unwilling to go to the margins. We must actively engage in margin shrinking through intentional accessibility. This practice is uncomfortable but must be explored if we would like to be Jesus in our communities.
Today, the next generation largely does not feel the faith to be accessible to them. Christian language and practices are oddly specific and poorly understood if you are not a churchgoer. Share on X
Critical Reflection
Critical reflection is really difficult, and I believe begins with personal repentance. When I embarked upon my deconstruction journey, the Lord revealed individuals I had “othered” in the past. I went on a journey of repentance which involved many uncomfortable conversations with God, followed by many phone calls. I had to confront what I believed, why, and how it impacted my behavior towards unchurched humans. Did I ever weaponize Scripture, condemn, or shame someone who God strategically placed in my path? When God pointed out those individuals to me, I called and asked for forgiveness. This included LGBTQIA+ friends, friends who had abortions, friends I had political arguments with, and friends who may have seen me as unsafe in my faith. This was deeply uncomfortable, but the most critical action I have ever taken as a believer.
What would the world look like if we as believers were so radically safe? How would the next generations feel if we as Christian leaders stepped out of theorizing and took action by simply reflecting and repenting? I promise that many of the troubling statistics regarding the decline of faith amongst the next generations could be corrected if we practiced humility consistently.
Did I ever weaponize Scripture, condemn, or shame someone who God strategically placed in my path? When God pointed out those individuals to me, I called and asked for forgiveness. Share on X
Seeing
We need to genuinely see people as fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God. We must correct our vision when we begin seeing human beings as categories. I find that we have grown shortsighted as believers and need to recognize that God created all people in His image. How often do we pause when we meet people and reflect on how amazing God is? How often do we pray and ask to see humanity? How often do we take opportunities to connect with diverse individuals around us and adopt them as friends? Jesus saw His kids who He deeply loved and died for.
My journey of deconstruction and subsequent reconstruction were the greatest gifts I have received in recent years. I finally began to see God’s work in every margin, which allowed me to join in God’s work.
We recently baptized six of our Supper Club members in a nearby reservoir. We howled with laughter as we celebrated, ate, and engaged in profound thankfulness. If I am ever in doubt that micro-church expressions of faith work, I need to simply remember this day. I saw the Church thrive all around me, as friends ‘came to life’ and rose out of the water. The Church is still alive!
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We need to genuinely see people as fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God. We must correct our vision when we begin seeing human beings as categories. Share on X
*Editorial Note: Missio Alliance is pleased to have Forge America as new content partners. Forge America is a network of practitioners cultivating practitioners who join in the everyday mission of God. On the last Tuesday of each month, articles from missional practitioners within the Forge network will be featured in our Writing Collectives. We look forward to sharing their thoughtful, leading-edge missional perspectives with you. ~MA